ok so there have been a bunch of things on my mind …
during the course of this i will be sharing some random thoughts …
in the spirit of self determination and my personal philosophy that i create my on rules and therefore create my own world … i will be sharing what i call “RT’s” … random thoughts. not retweet’s for you twitter heads! (@weusib333)
so … i’m trying to stay focused … on me.
but … a part of who i am and what makes me, me is that i give to my community/the world through my ability to connect dots and make things happen.
but … that can, often times, be a detrimental distraction to my personal growth and progress.
but … i need to make some money while i’m here in paris … because these euro’s have sucked me dry!!!
but … if i start to slip back into my work mode then i have to worry about neglecting my personal and artistic growth!
but … i am really starting to miss working … and the hustle … (i see them as 2 different things … work = the act of implementing a plan; the hustle is developing the networks, realtionships, tool and resources to do the work.)
i’m a little confused …
i’m losing focus … but is the universe sending me a plan?
i gotta slow down again …?
i feel like i need to work/hustle up some loot. my money is almost gone and i’m only halfway through the trip! i’m gonna be on the corner selling my body! these euro’s are a beast! feel free to put $5 on it …
so yea … i’m really missing work & the hustle right now and don’t know how to shake it.
the writing is coming but has hit a lull. i keep having new inspirations and new ideas to write and expand. that’s cool but can be overwhelming. i feel like because i have all this time and freedom to work on these things that i have a responsibility to be developing them all! but i know i need to be pick one or two, set some goals and deadlines and focus on them.
i’m still looking for the right musical outlet too i just want a space that i feel comfortable enough to arrange & record a few things. i haven’t even been singing in the shower here! (there is no shower!) but yea … i can do music too! i was offered a partial scholarship to college but one of the stipulations was that i sing in the choir. nope … you won’t see me on stage! i had a bad stage fright experience in high school. but hey … that’s a entirely another issue that i need to work through!
RT … i’m always amazed at the percentage of white people that are everywhere. there are so many moments where there are literlaly only between 1-5 people of color visible. then it hit me like a hammer to a hogs head! (that’s a country/farm reference [rip uncle charles!]) i’m not just in paris, france … I AM IN EUROPE! like … where europeans come from! DAMN!
now this is amazing to me not because of my occasional race bated thoughts (many of us have them. i’m just willing to admit to it.) but it’s deeper than that. there is the cultural context and the absence of one that i reference. confusing right … so …
it’s just different for me … not that i’m in anyway uncomfortable with white people. i’m just more comfortable with more black people around.
RT … i paris i’ve observed the facial features of various nationalities. i’ve also noticed that because of the history of america, blacks in america don’t have a look. there aren’t any real traits, or combination there of that can be identified as american. i think that we are identified by recognizing that we don’t look like others. we don’t come from a dominate gene pool. or a “look” that’s not connected in our dress/fashion.
RT … fashion … i like the fashion here … no, not the TIGHT jeans … but i don’t mind it when my jeans fit. i like it when my clothes fit properly in general. i’m just not in a position to revamp my wardrobe at this very moment. soon! as i think i said before, i like a style that’s plain and allows me to blend in the crowd. i want my spirit to be what makes me special. fashion is a crutch for some people.
RT … i’m starting to see that there is too much emphasis on aesthetics here in paris. looking good is important. but only in context to feeling good.
i was introduced by a friend to a friend via a friend, via e-mail … (isn’t technology amazing!) to a sister that is writing on race and it’s influence on psycho/socio/political influences of blacks in paris. i’m really excited to hear what she has to say. i’m rooted in a black consciousness ideology but feel that i have revised my understanding of my role in respect to “race relations”. knowing that race is a social construct, but it has a influence on many of us in a variety of ways. i come from a cultural context that embraces blackness as point of reference for black american culture as a part of a african diaspora. even in america … where “white folks” run things … yea, don’t get it twisted … obama, may run washington, DC [but not DC] but depending on where you are it, doesn’t mean shit that he’s president …. except that someone has hope.
i gotta whole lot to say about this stuff and there are a lot of cultural, political, social, historical, personal background information that feeds this conversation so … i’ll leave it for my book or something (hmmm … that’s an idea … maybe?) i’m sorry about that tangent. i look forward to hearing what smart & educated people say about it!
RT … if you are around people as smart or smarter than you that are speaking about & challenging each other intellectually, you will grow. other wise … you are wasting time!
i was told that on full moons that one should write out the things that they want in life for the next month … here i go …
*be able to say that i did some things everyday … (write creatively, exercise, morning ritual)
*make 2000 euros (under the table) by booking acts/consulting on deals and a
set up a party.
*record myself doing 3 songs
*create something new
*write out what my organization would look like
*lock down my party STARBLAZER party arrangements in LA … yea january 30th … we’ll do it again! but even bigger and better this year!
*gain clarity in my goals
*rewrite out my artistic statement
*rewrite my personal mission statement
is that a lot?
congrats on the grammy nods to … foreign exchange & ledisi & chris bacon & mos def & common & anthony hamilton & adele & stevie wonder & maxwell & musiq & jasmine sullivane & eric roberson & india.arie & nas and the beastie boys & q-tip … SOMEONE’s gonna win!
post the joints i missed!!!
who’s got a chris bacon video!?!