Category Archives: gil scott herron

fearless, singing, pannini, showers

today was funny …

at least it was for me!

i started it like this …

“today … i will be fearless … i will write w/o fear of others response … i will sing outloud while i walk he streets of paris … in the rain … and enjoy it all … i SHiNE … u SHiNE!”

i walked the streets of paris …
and when i wanted to sing … i sang!
gil scott herron, jon lucien, anthony hamilton, w. ellington felton, keith ailer, and a bunch of songs that i made up! well … i made up half the words to the other songs too .. because i don’t know the actual words!lol!

i talked to myself out loud …
said hello to people (in french and english)
that was funny because they don’t really do that while walking down the street here.

NO … i didn’t document it!

but it was a great day …

i wrote some good stuff and had some great revelations in this story through the characters but there are still some holes in the story. i can’t share it until i can fill the gaps. be patient!

then … i stopped to get a pannini on my way home … and that’s where this story starts …

and this sister walks in and the dudes in the there start smiling and acting really nice to her. she’s cut and has hella body. they are obviously flirting. they they mention something about me being american and kind of chuckle. they continue to talk and she gets her orange soda and as she’s talking to them and walking out, she looks me up and down, brushes by me uncomfortably close and says something to me. smiles and exits. i have no idea what she’s said but i’m feeling it’s kind of flirtatious. i’m feeling a little awkward now. the dudes in the shop laugh and then tell me she worked down a few doors down and invited me to come by. i brushed it off laughed, grabbed my sandwich and keep it movin’. i exit to go home. i make a right and see the young lady w/ her back to me. she doesn’t see me. but i watch her toss a cigarette away and walking into a store front. i can’s see where she works though because i’m parallel the doorway. i walk a few doors down and realize she a WORKING woman at a sex shop! she wasn’t flirting w/ me … she was trying to get some work!
how does one get propositioned by a hooker!?! i felt both cheap and my ego was stroked. damn!

so … i’m on my way home and i see this …

i haven’t told rockstar cuz or lil cuz … i’m not ready for the jokes!
don’t get that mixed up w/ fear … i just don’t feel like it!!!

now back to writing … this story is interesting and i like giving the characters depth but have to figure out how to make that translate in the story! this is fun though …

ohhh … i can’t forget to say thank you to ferricia and cae (thanks tone & binajoy) for the hospitality & convo & wine & tea & home cooked spinich pie from mom & pops & couch. we hung out one night and i missed the last train and they let me, a total stranger, sleep on the couch. AND … they let me take a shower the next morning … in a stand up shower! AMEN! they are the greatest! i wanna visit daily now!

check cae’s tunes at here
and ferricia here and here

and for all time …
until next time …

SHiNE

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new moon, new vision … new music …

so …

i’m in paris fool …

i just saw this movie NEW MOON w/ lil cuz. she’s a has a crush on this taylor lautner dude. who has his shirt off for 1/2 the movie. which i’m sure fueled the record breaking $72.2 million opening night! in one day! anyway …
what up …

i had a great day today. it was great for me because i had a break through on my writing. today i found a spot on a bench, on the channel, across from the ugliest building in paris! maybe the ugliest i’ve ever seen. it was a big ass vertical corrugated metal box with a 2 story smoke stack coming out the top. no windows. it was terrible but … i sat down and started writing and what i needed to write came out today. i recognized that i’d been trying to force stuff. but this is unquestionably what i need to be writing …

“it is the story of a man who had options. He took both right & left turns in life and did so knowing that he couldn’t turn back the hands of time so he never regretted anything. he felt felt that the decisions were the right for him at that moment in his evolution so he never looked back. He loved, lost love and made love, made friends and made enemies.”

i’m excited about this new direction. i like the idea of a story that includes all of these elements and a character that has enough depth that you see the complexities of life in the character and they can be shard in any setting because of the characters depth. you may love some decisions and hate others. love some actions and hate others. agree w/ some logic and others you may disagree with. yu may even hate their reasoning to do something but love what they do. and hate them afterward! it’s a emotional roller coaster and what could be a real story!

the other part of this is that i feel like to day has clarified a few things for me interms of my life direction. i’m still scared to say that i’m an artist and that i need to dedicate my self to being artistic but i kinda know that i NEED to make place to create art in my life. but i’m not with being poor and without any more!!! if that means getting gig at a burger joint so that i can do it … c’est la vie … ok not really but i’m willing to spend a portion of my time working for someone else so that i can make great things happen in my life knowing that will touch the others in the long run. plus it will only be for a short time! anyone hiring … hahaha … but for real … what up! or even better … someone wanna be my angel patron or get me arts residency created for recovering workaholic arts administrators!)

i also recognized that i’m really willing and i HAVE to to make more sacrifices in general if i really want the growth that i say i want to happen in various areas of my life … personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, etc! [thank you & i’m sorry: fam, friends, ex’s, environment’s, munch, mom, pop, aunts, uncles, ex’s, nj, niambi, nik, lisandra (keep sending me stuff), ny, shawn, toy, andrea, mal, dc, rahshaan, skillz, u street, probably you, and you, and you … etc!) and by coincidence …

it’s thanksgiving today too … and wednesday we gathered as peoples and had dinner together … but we do that often. we did talk about the things we’re thankful for. but in general …

i don’t like holidays … actually … i don’t like being told when i’m supposed to make a moment that was important to you, important in my life & add it as a ritual in my lifestyle. (ok … yea at time i have issues w/ authority). plus … i’m thankful everyday! and no one, especially not the US gov’t which did so much to TRY to destroy my family & community, is gonna tell me (and/or my peoples) when i celebrate the people i love! they say they’re making it easier by giving every one a day off but then they capitalize on it so much that it’s often times detrimental to the individuals that they created the “holiday” for. well in my case … they got the wrong idea … i’m free! and i say that with love for my peoples, my freedom and a belief in truth and justice.

and i’m not a scrooge … and just to show you i’m not crazy … peep the video … it is comedy!!! thanks to my mellow, my man, who you should all peep and check his art and activism … the incredible … josh healy



get the vodka & rum mixtape here

the other part of this trip is that i wanna connect the dots for artist and dj’s in the states to venues & promoters here.i’ve missed a couple chances but i’m on it this weekend.

i also missed my new homie welela’s performance tonight. my bad … other duties had to be taken care of first. but we still peoples right!?!

shouts to KCH crew, sol, paris, melodie, mervin, shelli and me and u!

live your truth …

SHiNE [brillez]