Monthly Archives: November 2009

new moon, new vision … new music …

so …

i’m in paris fool …

i just saw this movie NEW MOON w/ lil cuz. she’s a has a crush on this taylor lautner dude. who has his shirt off for 1/2 the movie. which i’m sure fueled the record breaking $72.2 million opening night! in one day! anyway …
what up …

i had a great day today. it was great for me because i had a break through on my writing. today i found a spot on a bench, on the channel, across from the ugliest building in paris! maybe the ugliest i’ve ever seen. it was a big ass vertical corrugated metal box with a 2 story smoke stack coming out the top. no windows. it was terrible but … i sat down and started writing and what i needed to write came out today. i recognized that i’d been trying to force stuff. but this is unquestionably what i need to be writing …

“it is the story of a man who had options. He took both right & left turns in life and did so knowing that he couldn’t turn back the hands of time so he never regretted anything. he felt felt that the decisions were the right for him at that moment in his evolution so he never looked back. He loved, lost love and made love, made friends and made enemies.”

i’m excited about this new direction. i like the idea of a story that includes all of these elements and a character that has enough depth that you see the complexities of life in the character and they can be shard in any setting because of the characters depth. you may love some decisions and hate others. love some actions and hate others. agree w/ some logic and others you may disagree with. yu may even hate their reasoning to do something but love what they do. and hate them afterward! it’s a emotional roller coaster and what could be a real story!

the other part of this is that i feel like to day has clarified a few things for me interms of my life direction. i’m still scared to say that i’m an artist and that i need to dedicate my self to being artistic but i kinda know that i NEED to make place to create art in my life. but i’m not with being poor and without any more!!! if that means getting gig at a burger joint so that i can do it … c’est la vie … ok not really but i’m willing to spend a portion of my time working for someone else so that i can make great things happen in my life knowing that will touch the others in the long run. plus it will only be for a short time! anyone hiring … hahaha … but for real … what up! or even better … someone wanna be my angel patron or get me arts residency created for recovering workaholic arts administrators!)

i also recognized that i’m really willing and i HAVE to to make more sacrifices in general if i really want the growth that i say i want to happen in various areas of my life … personal, professional, emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, etc! [thank you & i’m sorry: fam, friends, ex’s, environment’s, munch, mom, pop, aunts, uncles, ex’s, nj, niambi, nik, lisandra (keep sending me stuff), ny, shawn, toy, andrea, mal, dc, rahshaan, skillz, u street, probably you, and you, and you … etc!) and by coincidence …

it’s thanksgiving today too … and wednesday we gathered as peoples and had dinner together … but we do that often. we did talk about the things we’re thankful for. but in general …

i don’t like holidays … actually … i don’t like being told when i’m supposed to make a moment that was important to you, important in my life & add it as a ritual in my lifestyle. (ok … yea at time i have issues w/ authority). plus … i’m thankful everyday! and no one, especially not the US gov’t which did so much to TRY to destroy my family & community, is gonna tell me (and/or my peoples) when i celebrate the people i love! they say they’re making it easier by giving every one a day off but then they capitalize on it so much that it’s often times detrimental to the individuals that they created the “holiday” for. well in my case … they got the wrong idea … i’m free! and i say that with love for my peoples, my freedom and a belief in truth and justice.

and i’m not a scrooge … and just to show you i’m not crazy … peep the video … it is comedy!!! thanks to my mellow, my man, who you should all peep and check his art and activism … the incredible … josh healy



get the vodka & rum mixtape here

the other part of this trip is that i wanna connect the dots for artist and dj’s in the states to venues & promoters here.i’ve missed a couple chances but i’m on it this weekend.

i also missed my new homie welela’s performance tonight. my bad … other duties had to be taken care of first. but we still peoples right!?!

shouts to KCH crew, sol, paris, melodie, mervin, shelli and me and u!

live your truth …

SHiNE [brillez]

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see i am in paris …

So it’s been a real cool couple of days …

I took a few days off to kick it but i’m still doing my morning ritual.

the morning was spent chillin’ & reading. then rockstar cuz ask if i wanna go hang w/ him & lil cuz for a second. and we roll out and go meet his boy at the end of the block. he’s this cool english cat w/ this artistic flair for fashion and music. he’s just real cool. this great positive vibe. we walk and talk. then grab some school books for lil cuz. while walking he talks about doing a string of shows and then having to cancel a few recently because of a health issues. we stop and grab food afterwards. charlie hits us with a jokes and then pulls out this e-ray he’s been carrying around and tell us why he’s messed up right now due to this issue! i’m looking at the x-rays in amazement because i think that i can see something a little messed up. but hey … i’m no doctor and he’s been seeing specialist regarding the issue. anyway … i play it off. he tells another joke and we part ways. he’s gotta get some rest. real cool cat.

So later that afternoon … my homie welela hits me on e-mail and says bobbito is spinning in paris tonight. I’m like “word”! give me the details and lets do it! She’s like hit me back at 9. cool! I can’t wait so get my research on and find out spinna’s with him and that they are doing the 1st stevie wonderful party in paris!

Rockstar cuz and I are like yea we’re going out tonight. Welela decides not to go! so rock star cuz & i try to reach out to few people because … i’m spoiled and don’t like to pay. Nothings working for me .. nor for him. We decide that we’ll use the swagger/mervin technique = we’ll just walk up like you’re supposed to be guest. So the time comes and we get ready to roll but lil cuz to isn’t in bed! She’s 13 and hella responsible so it’s not a issue so we’re out.

We got to the venue as they were switching over from a previous event.
Rockstar cuz talks the talk and we get in. as we’re walking in someone screams his name. It’s bobbito. And we all walk in together!

As bobbito & spinna are setting up we’re watching them break down the venue from the previous event which evidently was a seated event. as they slide the theater style seating under hidden compartments and transform hallways to coat checks i’m amazed! with the tucked away technology and hydro lifts for sections of the floor, it is UNQUESTIONABLY the dopest mid size venue i’ve ever been to. [la bucalana] The production dude in me is going crazy looking at it all! Then a young lady walks up to us w/ 2 glasses of champagne and welcomes us to the event. We look at each other … ok … uhhh … yea … “we’re glad to be here, thank you!” More talk with them and then some industry talk between us and then … we sit down and listen to spinna & bobbito warm up. a few minutes later the doors open to the public. And it’s on …

20 minutes later … we find a little corner on the dance floor and i’m gone… lost in the music!

4 hrs later … after a few pounds of sweat loss, rock star cuz says … I wanna check on [lil cuz] … so … we roll out. He stops for a second break outside the venue just to cool off. I’m standing there waiting and this fly sister walks up and says something to me in french. I’m so tired that I just nod. She sees it in my eyes and pats me on my check, looks me in my eye and says “awwww.” I think that was the first person in paris to flirt w/ me. i’m honored but too tired to really think about it until now … Anyway … the cats that threw this are called free your funk … dope in concept and implementation. the kind of cats JUST BCUS wants to link with .. we’ll see what happens.

so we go to the street to get a cab … but guess what … brothers can’t get a cab! Even in paris! We end up walking home! We make it back and the story is over!

and for those of you that were wondering if i was really in paris … because i didn’t post any pics … i did this …

i’m going to a poetry joint this week … i’ll keep you posted!

Until next time …

SHiNE [brillez]

weusi

my phone is gone … and i got work to do …

ok …

so i had my phone picked from my jacket pocket last night! in retrospect, i think the sister that was sitting across from me was trying to signal me that it was going down! but hey … it is what it is and the beat goes on.

what’s cool is that i was on my way to meet my new homie welela. hella cool peoples! she’s a contact from my other homie kiki joi! i was a little late and when i walked into this spot, chez janou, it was empty. welela greeted me with a smile and a and hug like we’d been long lost friends! she introduced me to benji who was behind the bar. i hadn’t even taken my jacket off and benji notices my shirt. he say’s “cameroon?”. i’m like nah … then i realize i have my cameroon jersey on. we connect! and although i was blown from the pick pocket experience but a few deep breaths, some good convo and a glass of wine and i moved forward!

i guess the other thing that i wanna share is that i think i made some decisions recently about my life.
occasionally i describe mysel f intheis manner …

I HAVE MORE WISDOM THAN INTELLIGENCE
I HAVE MORE SOCIAL THAN FISCAL WEALTH
I HAVE MORE INTEGRITY THAN PRIDE
I HAVE MORE FREEDOM THAN WORRIES!

i have decided that i am willing to give up some of my freedom to gain more fiscal wealth which i hope will in turn provide me with some new freeing experiences.

that’s kinda big for me. i try to be minimal in my support for some of those things that the masses seem to support blindly. i guess you can say that i’ve always been a bit of a anti-conformist. it seemed to go well with my want to blend in and be apart of a community. in this moment i realize that my parent’s small extended family and my positive influences from their community have created a high respect for community and a NEED for it in my life. NOW … if i am who i say i am … i’d challenge that need for community and try to do stuff solo for real!

*damn!!! i hate it when i think myself into situations that make more work for me!*
ok … i gotta go wrap my head around this … and go get a new phone!

BRiLLEZ

creativity, ritual, aesthetics, and focus …a then a drink!!!

wow ok …

so check it out …

i’ve been everywhere … mentally … up down and sideways …

creativity is out of control … really … out of control … i’ve started a fleshing out concepts for a play (then the elbow told the pig …) and a film (To Be named later). then on top of that, i’ve been doing work on getting focused about life!

so far, my favorite part of my life planning process has been writing out my morning ritual. i have disdain for ritual without reason and these “holy days” that have been commercialized to the point where they are really about helping (or hurting a economy). so for me to be invested in days of or other ritual, or regular re-occurring events they gotta have a real connection to me. like i;m not gonna take a day off just because someone said i’m supposed to. that comes from my pops having us take MLK’s b-day off before it was national holiday. now i think that i make the rules! welll i guess i do. in my world. so yea … giving yourself ritual in your life … it’s important … for bunch of reasons. the reason i think it’s most important is that makes you go through a process where you give yourself answers to why you chose to do (or not to do) something. the one thing i have in my ritual that i;m challenged by is this exercise thing! but the process has reminded me that i’m a morning person … that likes the idea of a siesta or a nap during the day (ideally a hour or 2, sometime between 3 and 6) … then i stay up late! “i never sleep … cause sleep is the cousin of death.” (nas) … by the way if you’re in dc … go see nas & damien marley talk about their new project “distant relatives” at national geographic live!’s space. so yea … have reason for your actions. but don’t be lazy w/ you answer to that questions! ask yourself “why?” 3 times. and that’s all about that.

So … one of my big observations week this about the french appreciation for nice looking things. they have a eye for aesthetics. i do not. i mean when you live a place where the architecture is so poetic and incredible, with it’s golden statues atop these grand building, it’s history even if it is borrowed/stolen and stuff like this this you become de sensitized to ordinary artwork. it takes something super extra, extra special to move you. like when you’ve seen or heard a bunch of concerts/artist/photos/paintings you get a more critical sense of what you like and don’t like. but that’s not the point i really wanted to make (but i gave me a excuse o show some stock pictures of some of the things i’ve seen so far!!!)

i really wanted to talk about how the U.S. doesn’t seem to get it … all great & powerful societies had a legacy of artistic excellence. to be “powerful” doesn’t mean you are a great society. the arts are one of the basis that create a society that is prosperous in all aspects. the arts provide a thought process that expands beyond the rote memorization of facts, figures, formulas and history. a government commitment to showing art in public spaces, making it a part of your education system and a part of everyday life shows its commitment to the progress of its people and shows respect for their intelligence.

and actually … i do have a taste for personal/fashion wise aesthetics … but i have a fear of being vain, so i down play my personal style and my want for nice things keeps. (yea … like nice expensive things too!) i gotta steer away form it in part because it conflicts with my with for quest to just have minimal worldly possessions, and it keeps me in a humble mindset. (nobody say anything about my trainers/sneakers!) but anyway … here it seems that culturally they appreciate the arts and artist more. so much so, that at this point their taste are so refined in certain area that they just don’t care what anyone else says! for real … everyone here is fashionable … except me! hahaha … like i said i’m kinda anti-fashion and my wardrobe choices are limited! but when i finish the music i think i’m gonna shop it for a indie deal and then watch the money roll in and buy a entire new wardrobe! oh .. yea … i song. but no … you may never hear it.it will only be a international release, and it will be under a alias! hahaha!

and finally as i think abou tlife i’ve had to tackle the reality that i’m 39 and have NO stability in my life. i have more freedom than most though. i’m ready to cash in som eof that freedom for stability now and do some thing differently. now i gotta figure out what i’m gonna do differently and how!?!

damn!!! the work is just starting!!!

as you can see this new moon has me open and my mind is a million and one places at the same time.

i need a drink … i’m headed to a party …

SHiNE

fights … dc … pacman … washington … getting hustled … lil cuz

it’s sunday but this is about …

Saturday …

after a few hrs of wondering running into a few more comic book stores & gun shops … who would have thought) and these french cats are violent … i personally witnessed 2 fights being broken up. one dude got knocked on his ass by the little waitress … one to the jaw. i wonder what he did! and the other was a lady that was screaming at a dude. she said some thing and he went at her. his dude jumped in and damn near tackled him when his hand was a fist lengths from hitting her! i was w/ lil cuz so we kept it moving and talked about it for a second. she’s such a wanna be G! but i bet no one EVER puts a finger on her. plus … she has a crazy big-little olser cousin! oh anyway …

So how I got hustled … there was a big game on and I was looking for a spot to watch the second half. you know, just sit and have some tea. Just to be social. like i do at cafe nema some days. I find the small african spot around the corner that seems to be having some lively conversation. I go in and the waiterss tells me the bar is closed. I look up and GGGGGOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL! I stand and watch for a second … now i’m caught up in the game … I sit down and watch. The convo that they are having is loud but I have no idea what it’s about in part because i’m focused on the game. Evidently some of the convo was about me! Eventually a older dude says to me. You need to order something or leave. I say i’ll order. I order a beer. The older dude tells me to order some kinda food &the waitrss tries to get me to order food too. I tell her no meat. Only fish and then I say i’ve already eaten just a beer. a guiness for now. She’s still trying to get me to order food. I order a guiness and continue to watch the game. She brings my drink. I watch the game, chat w/ dude, enjoy the game. It seems that their convo is around national loyalty versus where you live. It had something to do with the cameroon game earlier that day and the lone white dude in the spot! Then she brings out a plate of skewers … I didn’t order that! She’s like yes you did. It’s what he said you should order. There’s a stillness in the room as I start to argue my point. I’m not gonna win in this. I share the order w/ the older dude at the table next to me. the game goes on. France wins 1-0. I ask for the check. It’s $30 e! 12E for the beer and $18 e for the meal is how it was explained to me by the older dude. I start to argue then realize it’s a no win situation. in the end I think I got beat out of $20e = $35 … to watch a soccer game. As the older dude leaves. (he and his friend have a finished a bottle of black label) he thanks me for the food, tells me that he works for the cameroon embassy and to e-mail him. I ask if he’s in the restaurant much. He drunkenly says that the waitress is his sister and another lady there is his big sister. There is some loud convo … and he’s reminded that he needs to go. He hands me his card and rolls out. I leave soon after that. And realive how I got hustled by the brother & sister team, damnit! and … i’m made at myself for not being able to speak french and for not being mad at them because I love the ingenuity of my peoples!

I also realize the date nov 14 … OHHHHH … manny pacman pacquio vs cotto! It’s late so I lay it down but set my alarm so that I can wake up and follow in on espn.com or something. So I wake up and espn.com has the blow by blow commentary! I’m enjoying the fight as I imagine pacquio do his thing! Walking through cotto’s assults and returning with twice the fury! He’s gonna be regarded as one of the pound for pound greatest of all times. This dude is a monster!!! I would have loved to be at a nice fight party. did you see what he did to cotto. my home girl said he looked like golum. It seems there was a lot going on in dc last night! Goodie mob w/ scarface, and a few parties, cedric the entertainer, and fight parties.

now that i’m away … there are a few things about DC that i really appreciate.

5. U Street: it’s nice to have a place that’s familiar to you and you are invested in it’s success and there are people, businesses and organizations that want you to be successful too. plus there is a creative energy that lives there. one that i don’t think is being tapped past its juvenile stages. surface levels. and don’t get me wrong … there are those that i think are getting deep in the energy of u street but many are just being creative and not really getting intimate w/ their art forms. but i love that U street is a place where people come to be creative and support creative things!

4. the abundance of pretty women: yea … i’m kinda used to having pretty women around me. it helps my eye for aesthetics. and it keeps me from acting a fool when a fly sister is around because in my circle that’s the norm. more importantly the sisters that i interact with, help to keep me balanced and provide a certain intimacy that allows me to not be a sexual predator. [just send me a e-mail if you want to hear my philosophy on sexual and intimate energy] and it feeds my creative energy too. and they’re around here … i have yet to get in that circle … yet.

3. chocolate city fashions: i miss the mix of washington and the DC fashions, the pinstrip suits and the sobiato gear the earthy head wraps and the thursday @ the park happy hour & then josephine’s & love outfits too!

2. my crew: we’re all doing a bunch of stuff here and there so we don’t link much but knowing that i have access to hem is important to me. i’ve been in dc, ny, nc & paris over the past 15 yrs … they’ve been with everywhere. i love my peoples

1. community: I think I figured out why I haven’t flipped over the fact that i’m in paris!?! it’s my need to be attached to a community here. I’m at fault for not learning the language but I came to do me and learn here. If you gave me a contact here and they are still looking for a call from me … i’m here for a few more weeks … trust me … i’ll call!

today … i chilled … slept … wrote this … started fleshing out a new creative idea, sweated bullets while i let my lil cuz cook … she’s got a lemon cake in the oven now!!!

and that’s all folks …

brillez